Geelani’s conundrums

Hakim Iqbal
Reactions and responses are strange things and when there is a reaction in a strange land like Kashmir, the dimensions are much more than those that can be put in two dimensions. The death of OBL made news across the world and made media hysterical and euphoric. The trend did not take much time to pick up in tech savvy offices of Srinagar and almost in the same breath online dailies and popular websites like this one reproduced the news. The kiosks of towns and villages sold lots of cups of tea as people made in depth analysis of the event as they always do in Kashmir; from how Obama could or could not have done it earlier, about Pakistan’s capability or incapability, about Osama’s ill fate or worlds good fate to some even ridiculing the news. Each one had his own set of presumptions and made good arguments as Kashmiri’s do in any case whether of their interest or benefit or not. By the way, what more options are we left with than discussing things (which should have been discussed in foreign offices) in Masjids and Tuck shop benches of Mohallas? Meaningful talks are such beautiful things if you only were not to be betrayed.
The talk of Abbotabad hit the lanes of Hyderpora as well. The grand old man was glued with the TV set and was watching the discussions and all crap theories that were put forward. The sober media of New Delhi wasted no time to cash in this moment. Though they could make no headway to deal with their old opponents, they seized this opportunity to cash in at their home. The called the grand old man in Kashmir
Trin Trin, Trin Trin
Reporter X: Sir, ABCD news channel Delhi se “X” bol rahan hoon. Aap ne to suna hoga aaj ke bade kamyabee ke barey main. Kya khayal hai aap ke jenab
Geelani Sb: Dekhiyein, mein aap ko yeah baat waziyah kar dena chahata hoon ki yeh pechale eekh decade mein, us (OBL) insaan ke ghaarweein(11th)mout hai.
Reporter X: Dekhein sir, mein history nahee ponch raha aap se. Mein yeah jaana chahata hoon ke aap is operation ko kaise le rahein hai, Theekh tha, galath tha. Kripya, khool ke bole (The sole objective is the make the other person say what he wants to listen)
Geelani Sb: Mein yeah manta hoon ki duniya ka sab se bada terrorist America hai. Who poorey duniya mein musalmanoon ka dushmun hai aur us zalim ka yehi maqsad hai ke duniya se musalman neest wa nabood hoo. Magan Allah Taala hamarein saath hai aur Inshaallah rahega
Reporter X: Aap please merey sawal ka jawab dein. Kya aap maante hai ke OBL ka khatam hona duniya ke liye bade kamyabeen hai aur aur khonkhaar terrorist ka ab safaya hua hai
Geelani Sb: Dekhyein,mera yeah maan na hai ke OBL ekh neikh aadmee they aur who islam ke badtareein dushmanun ke saath lad raha tha. Who Islam ke liye lada aur hum uske maut ko shahadat kehtey hai. Par hum yeah bhe kahtey hai ke job hi hamla innocents per ho, chahey who koi bhe karta hai, who…..
Reporter X: Sun liya, Sun liya Geelani Sb. Shukriyah. Thanks
Within less than an hour the breaking news appeared all over India and this time it was neither OBL nor Obama but Geelani. News channels in Kashmir picked up and followed. The conundrums of Geelani are strange and his responses must be calculated. There is always a difference between a person who leads and the one who leads with vision and foresight.

(The characters, conversations and people are all fictitious and the story has been made farce only to convey the truth)

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About theparallelpost
The language of words is more heavenly than the language of tongues and lips. The Parallel Post is a forum to offer a space for people who dare to speak through their words. The intention is to create an environment to share in words what we perceive in our minds...

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